22M here and just broke up. i admit that i have been putting in less effort in the relationship once things got official but this is because we were becoming increasingly busy, with first finals, then summer CCAs and overseas trips. i thought things were fine because we were both getting busier equally but apparently she have been upset at my lack off effort. what tilted me ultimately was the lack of communication at her part, there were small tantrums thrown which goes away after i comfort her about it but we have never had a proper conversation about how she really felt and what she wanted from me.
now this is the juicy thing, there has been this other classmate who has been hitting on her throughout the year despite her being attached and she chose to confide in him rather than talk the problems out with me. after talking to him, the breakup text came suddenly and she broke up with me over text, without any desire to talk things out. she would avoid me, ignore my texts and even tell her friends how bad of a boyfriend i was, basically cut me out without even wanted to talk about it and try. feels that she has dissociated with the relationship which is unfair to me because i have always been on a different note. 2 days later, she smashed the classmate and now they are happily trying things out and going on dates.
overall, i feel that girls do get a better treatment out of a breakup because when all our friends knew what happened, they blamed me more for not treating her right and not prioritising “the small things”, but can we just talk about how bad it is to keep options around in a relationship, i feel that the breakup only came so easy for her because she already has a backup option and this made her less willing to fix things. if anything, keeping someone who is hitting on you when you are attached around IS indeed microcheating and no one just seem to acknowledge it just because it is a girl who is committing it.