i cheated on my girlfriend while she was in ori. she had no idea what was going on back here. couldn’t contact me, couldn’t check on anything. that night after i booked in, we all drank in bunk. it was supposed to be harmless. i didn’t plan anything. but i got too drunk. way too drunk to think straight.
my sgt was there. i didn’t even think much of him before. but that night something just flipped. we ended up alone. things happened. i didn’t stop it. and even though i was out of it, i still remember it clearly. every time i try to forget, my brain plays it back in detail. it’s been stuck with me since.
when i booked out from camp, my girlfriend hugged me like nothing had changed. she asked how my week went and i smiled like a liar. she still doesn’t know. i’ve been carrying it around like dead weight. it’s not even about my sgt anymore. it’s the guilt. i know i fucked up and i don’t know what to do.
i want to tell her but i’m scared i’ll lose her. i want to pretend it never happened but it did. and the worst part is, it wasn’t just a blackout blur. i still think about that night. not because i want to relive it, but because i can’t forget it. and that scares me.