honestly this is just a rant and i know maybe im just being privileged and whining about it but i thought i felt sad and lethargic for no reason
it turns out that i just felt this way because i just hated waking up every day doing things i didnt want to do just for the sake of portfolio and to meet expectations
im not trying to humble flex or anything but i think that ive always been a high-performing kid surrounded by other high-performing kids in a high-performing environment and theres always been some expectation to deliver
and honestly, this is probably my mistake for taking up too many commitments but from the moment i wake up, my whole daily schedule is packed that sometimes i just wished i didnt wake up at all. theres just too many things to do, not enough time and not enough energy
and all the commitments are all super varied like tutoring, community service, internship, starting a business and i feel that im letting those that im working with down because im trying my best but i cant give my 100% and thats not fair to them
and i know its easy to say shed some commitments to take a break but if ive promised to commit to them, it wouldnt be fair to just bail on them because i feel like it.
and honestly, even typing this out feels tiring and idk if anyone will send words of encouragement, thank you in advance but ill probably just be too tired to reply but i genuinely do appreciate the kind words