We compared pregnancy to NS, and as for the upbringing. The school fee will certainly not be and has never been carried solely by the wife. The education will not be done by the wife. As for the early stage care, it WAS carried by wives but remember this work falls on anyone who happens to be free. So it sometimes fell on the grandparents........ But anyway, now there's paternity leave, (some people say the father never do anything, but all you have to do is to not take leave the same time as him. Trust me, things will be settled properly when you are not around, and if not, it is neither your concern nor your responsibility, and don't use it as a reason for your "standards", because you enter marriage as a coworker, not an HR, the law has already distributed the work and responsibilities, do your prescribed part, take photos, hand over, THAT IS IT.
I believe that you are telling me that women are tanking the whole upbringing, but I would say that y'all have NOT been doing so. We got lots of latchkey children and the rest are in the daycare center. Before work ends, y'all are not doing any more than men, and after your work end, it is NOT always the mother who fetch the kid from daycare center. From 6 to 10, both the husband and wife are engaged in teaching, recall your childhood, how much of your primary level knowledge was taught by your mum? And that was for the last era, your power has grown indeed and I have neither the reason to believe that you will be tanking more than half the work, nor do I believe that you are going to uphold the "bring a human life into the world" level seriousness, because for all I know about mothers of the last era, only a few (like my mom) stays very disciplined with "set good examples, monitor the growth of kid and etc", others are just like the "irresponsible dads", taking control of the kid, but not really, only one eye over seeing the kid's school work, the other eye stays focused on TV. Dads might spend money on alcohol but moms anyhow spend too, just look at the fashion industry, I don't suppose moms are prioritising kids'tuition over their clothes?
The responsibility of dad in a kid's upbringing is already an established concept, legally and socially, we have no actual means of escaping it, unless you are talking about the outlaw kind of escape. So we are NOT going to agree with your standards, because you are charging us more, with erroneous assumptions about the responsibilities that parents will undertake.