i am currently in a committed, healthy relationship with my girlfriend and honestly im really thankful and grateful to even be in this position
but as someone who has been 母胎单身 (single since birth) before, i never dated in sec sch or jc and honestly i regret that.
maybe its just looking at it with rose-tinted lenses but uni romantic relationships feel very intentional and practical in the sense like "are you going to get a stable job", "shall we BTO", "what are your thoughts on children", "how are the parents-in-law"
i just have this sense that our entire relationship is driven by considerations on compatibility and logic and not just because. it feels mechanical and at times i feel suffocated having to live up to the expectations of what a boyfriend and husband should be.
maybe i over-romanticise teenage love because i never experienced it and the grass may be greener on the other side but i wish that our relationship could be more genuine and pure, where we both do things because we want to make each other happy (not because its what we "should" do)
i still love my girlfriend but honestly it feels like both of us are doing things for each other because its what a good boyfriend and girlfriend should do, and i regret missing out on the authenticity and genuine teenage romance i never had.